19 till I die

Because no one reads this blog, these thoughts are safe here. This is a bit of venting, because no one will read it. I need this outlet. I right this infinitely more secure in life than I was a few months ago. There aren't questions of a pay check hanging over my head in the near future at the very least. The value of such security is inestimable from the other side. I am an experimental biologist.  My research needs equipment. My institute has most of the large equipment I need for my research. I was allotted space and an office at the time of joining. The leadership and my colleagues are very supportive of any sort of procurement of small equipment. As soon as I joined the institute I put in indents for a string of things that I know I will need. It has been five months. I have a microwave (gift), a centrifuge and pipette set.  I had hoped to get going in two months. Most of the things I need can reasonably be expected to be kept in stores at a Biology institution. But you f...

This is an excerpt of a message I wrote on the 17th August 2022 for the organising team of a recurring meeting of which I am a part. It's an open idea. If anyone here has ideas/comments, let me know. " I have an idea. This is to increase engagement of the public with the science done in Indian Institutions. Simply put, when we have meetings, we could invite science journalists/ writers to attend. Complete confidentiality before public communications would be a prerequisite. This is how I imagine this will work: Science journalists would may attend talks after agreeing not to discuss/publish the talks without prior written consent from speakers. Broad Questions / Interesting findings may be hinted at/ be part of a public communication if all parties agree. The benefits: People get sense of research in a style that they are used to. The academic style does not appear to work, as AWSAR series might suggest. Attracting the next generation of talent to Indian research. Most student...

 I  just took a slight diversion into the past. Haven't done this in a while, probably because the future has sponged all my energies. I hope faint hearted  others  do not dare. Some old emails that I wrote in my early twenties just horrified me. Those were unhappy times. Some of what I wrote to people was plain nasty. I have written terrible things to friends.  Incidentally, I have zero recollection of doing so. Knowing me and the way I think I now, those were reactions to terrible disappointments of some sort. When I think of why some people do not stay in touch, I imagine they were just bored of my angsty, sorry venting that had nothing to do with them. My memories are of me being a tortured protagonist. Having read three emails, maybe I was a jerk. The question is, do I want to delve into more emails and entirely reassess my memories? Do I have the energy and time right now, and what good would it do me? One option would be to use rules of life that hav...