Thursday, November 17, 2011



Affected Affections
In my bed solemnly I lie
Thinking of how time flies
It's been seven years 
Since Sushrut was my roommate
Together we studied, roamed and ate
Today he called to say
His Dad's lungs are filled with fluid
That Cancer is gargling them away
I feel his pain
I feel his angst
The misery of tied hands


I spoke to Dhhakkin recently
I've known him since I was three
We've cracked the same jokes
Shared interest in birds
Had nothing in common
And still been brothers
The day he got a job 
The day he got a raise
I thanked powers that be
At least some justice I got to see


Amma's smile and Papa's jokes
Noshi's rants and profound thoughts
Support my being, in my inner space

And then there are people to deal with
Who are fickle and unkindred
We chat
We joke
We congratulate each others' acheivements
We revel in profundity

Somewhere, sometime I learnt
This cheer is affected
The lesson made life simpler
And yet you are as protected
From lonliness as astronauts
From vaccum
In a wooden shuttle in deep space

I like my shuttle
Unaware... Unsure how long it'll last
Almost weary of the impending bust
No constructs of cheers
No walls of wood
No affectation of affection will save me
From the seering frigidity,
The dismal desolate vacuousness
That the Primal atom might have felt

                              Dreams Series - 1 
I LOVE dancing and tango is such a refined experience. Fine people looking oh so fine swiveling to subtle melodies is charming, relaxing and leaves a sweet buzz. You see beautiful, you hear mellifluous, touch warmth and you inhale human and the body integrates these sensations into soulful rhythms. There is more life in each second on the dance floor than say, in the lab. With these sensations, and the cigar after, I went to bed. And a very vivid dream blanketed my being.

It was a strange dream. I was in a room by myself. It was a sparsely furnished hall. It was definitely homely and comfy by me. The sun shone softly through what looked like lacy curtains. Someone came in to get the place ready for my stay, and left. He gave me a sense that it was a temple's accommodation. Made sense, the place looked pious, and yet scarcely spartan. A beautiful bird, the more elegant than I have ever cared to imagine appeared walking around the room. It looked like an artists impression of a hoopoe's, parakeet's and a delicate woodpecker's offspring. It just kept walking around, like it was looking for something. I offered it my finger to perch on and we became as comfortable with each other as our skin and feathers. I played with it for what felt like all the way unto evening. And then I fed it something and then it started walking around looking for more food again and then that's all that it did.
While I was watching this Hoo-para-pecker busybody around, a girl walks in, in what could only have been the plainest, softest most comfortable white cotton T shirt ever made. It didn't glisten like a new shirt, it just looked ever-fresh. The shorts were good, but a non descript shade of cream. I knew this person. Someone whose company I enjoyed cautiously and looked forward to, but not overtly. Seamlessly, the evening, without a night, turned into morning again. And then we just sat or lay, close together or across the room (not necessarily respectively) in that fresh spring morning. I have no idea from where or when spring slipped in. There was some talk, maybe and the silence was comfortable. It was strangely like being with me with a different appearence and personality and SO much more appeal. That can't qualify as me, but still.
Hooparapecker came around from time to time, and its silence became a part of the company. It pecked on my fingers now and then. It didn't pain, I just felt the pecks. Somehow, its being there was reassuring. I'm not sure reassuring for what though.
And as suddenly as the times had been nice, it was time to go. And I was on the road until my car broke down. I then realized I was in Pakistan. A roadside mechanic was helping me out. It was just like India, only the men were in Pathaan suits. And then...
Cars in the street racing to take people to work woke me up. And the dream ended. Its probably not worth this much deliberation. It had no plot, it wasn't juicy, it had no punchline. But its a dream I want to share. Maybe just because it gives me something to write about. :)
The Frigid moon

The evening was warm
The breeze was nice
I liked the Moon
Her smile was spiced

She glistened like gold among the stars
She glowed softly
I didn't see Venus pass
She looked at me and I held her glance
Dazed like a boy of fourteen
Struck by her charms

We saw her spin about heavenly bodies
She convinced me though
I had her on a leash
It was I who held her
From darting off to Jupiter
That it was me she craved
Or so she raved

The Earth popped up in discourse
And then she wept a drizzle
It's the earth that makes her dance
It makes her shine and dims her glow
The earth is hers eternally
And this, I should know

I just wanted the smile
The frolicsome joy and blissful gaze
Through the city and through the haze
On bouncy and on humdrum days

The wind turned chilly
She turned a stern grey
Behind a building, inching her way
The winds slapped my face
And she didn't care
For the strength to match the earth is rare
The the night went on and my neurons tussled
Wondering where the dove for me is nestled.

We'll find out! :)