Sunday, September 08, 2013

A Venom of a different strength

In breaths of different strengths,
Light as I felt when she smiled,
Heavy as she smiled at another,
Knowing each time, who it was.
The cycle rolls over, and over.
I inhale every time.

The stench was of love,
That rotted like a bright picked apple
The one apple which felt special
Not knowing how many lay beside it
Not in a crate for memories
But a casket to elsewhere.

I have loved blossoms,
Each one of them,
Buds that bloom,
And please many.

There she was, stumped by the other
That other, a connoisseur of nectar
There she sat, full in bloom
Waiting, glistening, oozing,
Perfusing her aura with glee
with a secret wish to wilt.
Whole patches like that one,
Luring everyone that passes,
Taken only by an imagined perfection.
Whole patches have wilted,
And I, have watched.

There she was,
Almost bearing fruit
Her fragrance was once touching
There was solace in her feel
The solace turned thorny
Sending hurt my way.
And I watched.

There she was, sans her scent,
Uncaring, unfeeling, stolid.
Her colors now glossless
Still with the essence I loved
The eyes and smile,
Hardly as brilliant anymore.
I'm still enchanted,
But I watch.

She has lingered my mindscape
Oh ssooo much so.
She has been my muse
And doesn't know
When I nearly died, and I thought of her
Which was when I felt the most worthless
When I told her of my fixation, she said to me,
"Thank you for saying such nice things about me."
I laugh, I weep, I sweep it up
And one by one, let each petal drop,
Yet, I watch.

There have been buds
That I've seen open
Imagining I'm the sun.
They've been lush
They have blushed at me
And brushed away every bee
All for me, just for me.

I, Sullen as a once favorite toy
Stowed away in an attic somewhere
Not imbibing such sweetness
Unappreciative of the honeyed mist
The smiles I let float past
A love that would last
If only I let go of the past.
And yet, I watch.

I bear such venom
For me and all.
What does it take to find the blossom,
That doesn't rot away before its time?
For whom you don't turn to grime,
Admiration for whom just won't die
In whose ecstasy I can lie.

And yet I watch.
I watch and watch and watch.
Adding to the zillions
Who have watched, are watching and will watch.
Hoping the adages are true,
The journey is worth it,
And its better to have lived and loved
Than never have loved at all.